Sunday, 30 November 2014

CUT SOME SLACK....



...That's how we judge people based on their outlook or the aura around them. Then, they open their mouths or just do their thing..... and we are MESMERIZED. The fact that the container is colorfully beautiful doesn't mean the content will be fantastic; And the fact that the outward is somewhat drab, doesn't mean what's inside isn't drop dead awesome...

Consciously or unconsciously, we have some preconceived notions about people and things, which cause us to be unfairly judgmental sometimes. If only we consciously learn to be open minded and see things like a 2 year old would...
Yes, packaging and presentation matter, but then, let's give people a chance and the benefit of doubt sometimes. Who knows, we might be in for a surprise...



This post is inspired by the Britain's got talent and x-factor shows. Certain people came in to audition and their physical appearanceS gave no hint of what lied within. Some of them looked so drab, some afraid. Some actually looked like they had absolutely nothing good to offer... till they performed; And then we couldn't blink or close our mouths...

Indeed, there's an intrinsic beauty or value in everyone. We sometimes just need to give them the chance to bring it forth or reach within them...

Saturday, 29 November 2014

PLAY YOUR ROLE...

Many times we pray for a miracle. We pray for opportunities, a job, etc.... and sometimes they come. But then, what do we do with them? When something is given to you, you have to stretch forth your hand to receive it and even if it is thrown right in your lap, which is quite rare, you still have to do the taking or it just lies there and wastes away or a smarter person takes what could and should have been yours.

What I'm saying in essence is we all have our parts to play in different situations. To achieve the greatness we all yearn for, it takes some effort and even plenty of effort. It takes a combination or hard and smart work, but many try to run away from the hard part. Hard work is called hard work because it's HARD... but the price of not working hard is greater than the price of the hard work.....

Hard work doesn't kill and guess what? What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. I'm a strong advocate of "whatever your hand findeth to do, do it with all DILIGENCE." It doesn't matter what work or job or task it is, as long as it's legit, pure and positive, give it your all you have. There is dignity in labor ( be you a mechanic, gardener, market woman, etc. As long as you are consciously toiling and not just sitting and waiting for a castle to fall from the skies, there's dignity in your labor) and one way or another, sooner or later, it pays off....

We all don't have to start big. From humble beginnings, come great things... "whatever your hand findeth to do" that is good, by all means. Never let pride rob you of what is, in the hope of what could be...

Diligence, even in little things, can and does take people to very great heights, because many times, others are watching even without our conscious knowledge. And even if no one is watching or rewarding you, those small habits translate into big things.

Hard + Smart work + Diligence + Resilience + Godliness = SUCCESS...

Wednesday, 5 November 2014

CHILDREN & CHILDHOOD...... THEY ROCK!!!



Each time I remember or I'm told certain things I did, thought of, imagined and said as a kid, I can't help but laugh out loud sometimes.

It's really amazing, how as a child, I really looked forward to growing up; because I thought it would be so much fun. The major reason really was because I just thought of the independence I would get: Free from mummy's controls, telling me what to wear to where, forcing me to go out sometimes, etc. In my head, growing up meant I would be able to act as I wanted, do whatever pleased me and earn my own money. The key word here is INDEPENDENCE, as I'm very independent minded. I do not like to be dictated to, I like to question things, I detest many "status quo" and want to be at peace with what I do, because I want it, not because it's the norm or what someone commands. I am very rebellious deep down and a little part of the rebellious side manifested in secondary school. I derived pleasure when we got to break certain rules, just for the fun f it. I just always felt "gangster" and that was a great feeling.

Now, back to the main issue, I particularly remember one odd fear I had as a child. Until I was 6 years old, my family lived in a naval barrack, and as a result, helicopters sometimes flew past the area. I was really very TERRIFIED by the sounds of those helicopters. My heart would literally jump out of my chest when I heard any pass, that I sometimes ran for cover. To me then, it sounded like the world was coming to an end, and as I type this, I can actually feel the terror I used to feel in those days. Awkward right? Indeed it is.

Now, there was this song I used to hear in church then:

 "Ebami gbe Jesu ga, oba nla, oba to ga, edumare oba to ga."

I didn't quite know the words or the meaning then because I knew very little Yoruba, so I thought the words were

"Ebami gbe Jesu ga, oba nla helicopter, edumare helicopter."

I just somehow thought I heard "HELICOPTER" in the song, and since to me, helicopters were fearful and big, it just made perfect sense that helicopter was in the song.... (SMH, *covers face*)
And in my head, that's how I sang it for some time, till God knows when I knew the correct lyrics.

I also remember that as a child, the concept of God was very complicated to me. I was confused with the thought of a God in heaven. I thought heaven was just above the clouds and since planes disappeared into the clouds, they go to heaven, so they should be able to see God. I remember asking my dad one day who God was, where he was, who created him, etc. The answers my dad gave me kept forming other questions in my head, and I just had to live with that complication.

As a child, I loved to play and to a very reasonable extent, I had my fair share of plays. Talk of suwe, hide and seek, rubber band games, who stole the meat from the cooking pot, ten ten, etc. Even video games, with my favorite being Super Mario and the duck game where i got to shoot flying birds....
At a point, I had a bicycle, which i never knew how to ride till it got disposed, but got pushed around on it by an older friend and other kids came around for the bicycle rides too... LMAO!

Additionally, every festive period, we were taken to the beach, which I loved and still love so much. We had horse rides, took lots of pictures and just had picnics. We also visited the amusement park and had lots of fun. And did I say I had very cool clothes as a kid? Man, my mum was and is a genius! The mini skirts, shorts, spaghetti tops, crop tops, dungarees, wrapped shorts... (Omo mehn.... I was a baffer)

Childhood is just such a very beautiful thing. It is characterized by some level of ignorance, innocence, inquisitiveness and carefreeness and sadly, vulnerability. Children, generally, have no worries and even if they do, they are very trivial, compared to the realities to be faced as an adult.




The sight of children always melts my heart and brings a smile to my face. I have realized that children all over the world are just children: whether black, white, red, yellow; they are just children. They like to play, have fun, laugh and just be themselves.

Life, however, has a way of putting some children through what no child should be put through, and society on the other hand sometimes, just steals the innocence of certain children and makes them into monsters.

In conclusion, today's children are tomorrow's leaders, and as such, they should be treated with so much care and shown as much love as possible. They should be brought up with the fear of God and in discipline. They should be guided and guarded. Above all, children should be allowed to be children and enjoy every bit of it, so they can look back and say "CHILDHOOD ROCKED."

DISCRETION...




 Discretion is one attribute that distinguishes a child from an adult. Children are usually so innocent, naive, trusting and sometimes loud. Because of their nature, they tend to say things exactly the way they are, with no filter whatsoever. It's not unusual to hear a child say "My dad's car is bigger and finer than your dad's." The child might actually be saying the truth, but as an adult, we know not to say something like that or not to say it to a group or at a place, because we have more discretion, experience and are more sensitive regarding certain things.

Now, many people throw discretion to the wind, some deliberately and others ignorantly. Some of those who do so deliberately, do because they are boastful and want to show off; they just always want to be the center of attraction and attention, therefore, they are so loud about their achievements, possessions and what not. This particular group, are even prone to tell lies because they just must "represent" and be out there. There are so many of this group amongst our celebrities and even on social networks.

Another sect of those who act indiscreetly deliberately, do so because they come from a background of deprivation; So when God "butters their bread", they can't seem to get a hold of themselves. They just always have to flaunt whatever, to make up for the yesteryears.

However, this piece focuses on those on the other hand, who act indiscreetly ignorantly. They do so out of naivety. Some of them are just too pure at heart like a child and too trusting, that they think everyone has a heart and mind like theirs. They just say things the way they are, reveal information about their husband, wife, car, trip, work, family, etc, not really with the intent to boast or scorn, but they are just talkers like that.

One Yoruba adage says "bi isu eni ba ta, a ma'n fowo boo je ni!" I hope I got that right, that's one line I learned from Yoruba movies, so nollywood is not as bad as we say after all.... LOL.
In English, I think it means "when one's yam sprouts, one eats it in private." Forgive the translation, but that's the closest I could come up with.

However, it teaches discretion... one should learn to be discreet and not always blow trumpets on everything... e.g learn to discern who to tell what, at what time, in what place and to what extent. Not everyone needs to know every detail of how great your life is....

Another adage says "Imu nika, ti ko gborun ashebi." This basically means even the most sensitive of noses cannot sniff out those with wicked intents. "Ojulari, ore o de nu." this means we only see what's outward, friendships are not always real. The Bible says the heart of man is DESPERATELY WICKED, who can know it?

Easy does it... DISCRETION + MODERATION + THE HOLY SPIRIT...